2+ years later!

It has taken me nearly 2.5 years to come back to writing! And what a year to write about. 2020!

We are more than half way through 2020 and a world-wide pandemic - and I am 4 days away from another year around that sun! I have to admit I am lost for words (ha, the irony as I am writing here). Never in a million years would I have thought (on January 1st 2020) that the year would be 'as it is'. But, then unpredictability exists in life. Just as we can be pleasantly surprised by something, on that same scale we can be shocked.

And now while I sit in an empty Starbucks in Central London, I am watching people coming in and out of this coffee shop, with their face masks on, ordering their coffees and leaving - and I suddenly had the pull to write!

There's a lot of ramblings going on inside my brain. I've never been a person who likes to be "controlled" or "restricted" - yet these are the two key factors playing out energetically this year. Control and restriction by country and government (rules). As I ponder this, I am wondering what other 'control' and 'restrictions' I am placing on myself. There's a saying, that our outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world. It's that which I am now pondering. Where am I restricting myself and controlling things? (Why not ask yourself this same question, after all the outer reality - as it is currently - is also playing out for you too).

We all like things to go the way we want, but there is always a bigger picture/game in play, that seems to only make sense to us later in life. This reminds me of one of my favourite speeches by the late Steve Jobs (that he gave at Stanford University back in 2005) where he talks about connecting the dots and how he "trusted that all would work out ok" based on what felt right to him - at that moment. Too many of us try to "plan" and "structure" our lives based on what we "think" we need to be doing, and hardly on the step by step process (that is heart driven). Truth be told, I oscillate between the two and like to think that I go with the "step by step" process but, my mind does question this and I tend to be somewhere in the middle. Making a plan (as I like to have some sort of a direction - and hence feel like I am in control) and yet I also like to let things flow and be open, allowing for unpredictability and (good) surprises.

There's a few things on my "to-do" list for this year - yet I am trusting how I feel, and that when I have the pull and desire to do things, I will. Until then I am allowing myself to "be present to now". I am driving through 2020 on a road less travelled, sometimes it's sunny, sometimes it's raining, and at other times I stop. But I am trusting my soul's GPS, because at the end of the day I am aware that we are all unique individuals and my own soul's compass is uniquely created and it's always guiding me to the best, even if at the time my mind doesn't agree.